whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Randomize
