Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
