um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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