were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
