Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
