Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
