I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
