i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
