Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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