are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Randomize