Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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