HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
