mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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