I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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