Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Randomize
