i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
