Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
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pedialite and red bull = repair kit
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
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When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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