I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
