i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
