You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
