During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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