that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
