Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
