Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
