What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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