You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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