giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
