Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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