lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
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Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
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It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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