Where are you?
In a non slutty way
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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