First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
