Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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