I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
