We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
