I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
