Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
