I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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