Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize
