Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
