You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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