the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
