8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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