Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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