I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Farmville is her only friend.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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