He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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