I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
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