Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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