Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize