im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
