I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
so much tequila, so little girl.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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