I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
