one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
