lets start a swedish sibling band together
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
