dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize