I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
