ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Randomize
