There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
