Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
