and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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