just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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