Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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