so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
