My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
