I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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