White coat. Heels.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
