i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
