I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
soo... how was my night?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
